'In the count down to death the question of "why" melts into "when".
How much time do we have left, because if I knew what I know now then...
Move pen move, write me a mountain.
Because headstones are not big enough.'
There are so many things that I recollect about the time I had with you.. how, when I was young and small, you would bounce me on your knee to an old Irish jig and I'd laugh and squeal 'again grandad!'. Or how you bought me a box set of the horror films 'Anaconda' when I was ten, that I definitely shouldn't have seen until I was older. I could write about barbeques in summers past, how we could always guarantee that there would be a fry-up waiting for us in an old oval tin when we came to visit, how you listened to me play Danny Boy for the first time on a keyboard that lit up so I could follow the notes.. there are so many memories with you that, like all of the people you ever met, I will hold dear to me.
I wish, though, to write about one of the last conversations I had with you. When you told me that 'if it's my time, then it's my time'. You told me that you weren't scared, and that you'd seen and experienced so much in your life, like the places you'd seen, the people you'd met, some pranks in the forces.. but soon it would be time to go. I know you must have been scared, but when you admitted to me out loud that you were dying, you said it with such dignity and strength; that memory, I will hold dearest. It encompasses the essence of the person that so many people have loved and will treasure for as long as we remain. You had such an incredible grace; the like of which will not be forgotten by those who knew and loved you. Grandad, it is with a heavy heart and tearful eyes that we say goodbye to you, and I hope you know how truly loved and cherished you are. But I know that now, you have only left us to complete your next adventure. One day, you can tell me all about it, and I look forward to it.
Love always,
Kelly-Jay xo
This candle was first lit on the 26th of February 2019 and will burn for 94 years 9 months and 7 days.